Tuesday, October 30, 2007
4th time
fourth, not first. not pissed, i dunno how to even describe it :/
stop doing all these and get straight to the point, cause its just so....URGH.
(ok this is kinda stupid. i just need to rant though i can assure you 100% that person so wont be reading this :/ )
APPLES!
8:52 AM
p.s. im still not over you
i hate it how you always curse me and usually it will coincidentally be before my exams and such.
the stress thats building up doesnt really go well with all those.
so much for self-confidence and preparation.
such last minute demoralizations is exactly my weak spot.
and how you dont take note of anything, or rather, of the wrong things, at the wrong time. sucks.
i still rmb the day, for my eoy when everything happened.
so bad, that i broke down so bad at the door and i just crouched there and cried and cried, insisting on not going for my papers (seriously)
and you did nth to help me, at all. you just love making matters worse.
and true enough, i flunked both my chem and amath eoys.
i dont want this to repeat agn.
God help me )':
-Pink&Black
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8:12 AM
Sunday, October 28, 2007
I see: My bouncy sheep toy (;
I need: to studyy and revise my work for this year :/
I find: that i really lack of proper clothes ):
I want: to go shopping!! esp for work attachment and rename thingy (:
I have: sch tmr from 8 to 4! BOO! (and it goes on and on till dunno when)
I wish: im much slimmer and richer :0
I love: my friends, shopping and flowers (:
I hate: annoying ppl who really makes me mad and being upset ):
I think: I better start on my holiday homework and revision VERY SOON
I miss: 2006. cant even explain it.
I fear: the dark, not having anyone to turn to, not being accepted
I feel: very lazy and slack right now
I hear: my parents and uncle and aunty talking ouside
I smell: the comforting smell of my room (;
I crave: gogo's! and auntie anne's ((:
I search: for peace and serenity in my life
I wonder: whether i will do well for o's next yr and which jc i will end up in
I regret: not being stronger and not doing well in lower sec
I have: wonderful ppl around me and more reasons to smile than cry ((:
The last time you
Smiled: when my sister was being silly just now!
Laughed: yest i think. cant rmb.
Cried: yest. it was really upsetting )':
Bought something: errr, kinda hard to say.
Kissed someone: ?
Talked to an ex: maybe 1000 yrs back?
Watched your favourite movie: cant rmb la. i love many movies
Had a nightmare: cant rmb agn :/ (i have badddd memory) but as far as i can rmb the latest one was when i dreamt that i got 1/80 for my phys eoy paper and got 70/80 for my chem paper. so in the end i still failed. HAHAH
Do You
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Im having an affair with PinkPanther got a prob with tt?
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: sort of. i was so horrified after my eoy papers i kept dreaming bout the results. ESP BOUT THE PHYS PAPER
Believe there is life on other planets?: HAHA maybe?
Remember your first love?: i guess. yeah.
Still love him/her?: HAHA funny la no laa still young back then (;
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: haha can i say many?
Believe in miracles?: yep, happened to me a number of times (:
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: of courseeee
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: not to some ppl i guess
Consider love a mistake?: haha noo love is gooood even at any point of time
Like the taste of alcohol?: im a goody girl who doesnt even touch alcohol (:
Believe in God?: yupp, my miracle (;
Pray?: uhuh, im a goody girl rmb!
Go to church?: noooo! i go to the mosque though (:
Have any piercings?: again, im a good girl so i only have a pair on my ears ((:
Have an obsession?: not any tt i consider of, only like alot
Have a secret crush?: haha dont be surprised if one day i tell you i HAD a crush on you or smth (;
Do they know yet?: HAHA no crazy, this is a stupid qn, if not i wouldnt be a secret crush anymore right ://
Care about looks?: yes sadly, but not all the time, sometimes if im in a bad mood or just too tired/lazy i wont care so much
okay im bored/tired/have no mood to do anth that has to do with school, really
-Pink&Black
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5:32 AM
i swear i cant use lj, as hard as i tried to.
45 mins and hardly anything done :0
i still havent figured out where to go to accept aqilah's add.
tell me i suck ://
today was so bland, people coming to my house and such, nothing much (haha)
im so not looking forward to tmr. will suck i tell you.
school straight from 8 all the way to four plus.
i would seriously rather that the school not make it a 'holiday' for us.
im looking forward to taridra which is like dunno when.
my schedule's so packed its very upsetting though
oh! and im looking forward to my(our) work attachment too (:
ohoh and plus shopping for clothes for that! ;D
plus getting a dress for rename outing/party <3
heheh i love my friends <3
HAHA i love hazierah too! (LAWL my sis made me write this, silly)
-Pink&Black
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3:36 AM
Friday, October 26, 2007
cant believe that im a fool again
aku nak post dalam melayu pasal aku bingittttt
minggu ni kan, macam screwed gini ah ):
nangis macam baby pon tak guna kan, hati ni dah terluka pon.
aku nak lupakan pon macam susah sikit kan?
hatiku betol2 terluke, sedihhhh.
macam maner lah aku nak tahan air mata aku kan.
ah, macam gitu la aku rase, sedih sangat sampai dapat ambil gambar dengan berbual dengan M.L. pon tak buat aku happy, sikit pon tak. PASAL TU. sampai TERnangis kat depan dier tauu! (alah tear-ing ajer laa)
macam maner tak! aku sedih pasal dier oii, pasal aku jugak!
ok tak per la, mungkin tak ader org yg tau aper yg aku membebel ni.
aku geram, aper makna hidup niiii
okay, it seems like i just cant have everything i want at once
i must make choices, this is one of the hardest choices i ever have to make in my life.
both so impt and precious, i cant help losing grip.
im not feeling quite well now, physically an emotionally.
im glad, that the three made my day today. M.L., Mad Hatter, Never-meant-to-be 'twin' ((: (<- hanna gave the last part of the last name! back in secone. hahah.)
i need to rant tmr to meant-to-be. yesyes, before i go crazyyyyyyy
-Pink&Black
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7:23 AM
up and down, spin me round and round
yay Mad Hatter's going kayaking with me (; (exciting! HEHE)
i cant waittttt, i know its going to be pure fun! ;D
(p.s. you still owe me food date!! hahah)
today was nice though damn tiring. felt like i just ran 2.4 or worse :/
but its really funnnn. and the company's great ;D
okay, i have nth much to update today.
oh, just that i think i drank more than 5 litres of water alr, and the thing is i didnt even pee! hahah. must be from all the water i lost just now. i was perspiring like mad my whole hair was wet, looks like i just bathed :0
-Pink&Black
APPLES!
2:39 AM
Thursday, October 25, 2007
and it cut me like a knife
The Bottom Line
A gift you're given today will require you to use hidden reserves of tolerance.
In Detail
A gift you're given today will require you to call upon all your hidden stores of tolerance. This generous present might not be quite your style, but maybe it is time for you to expand your tastes. Give it the old college try for a while and see if you can integrate the new gift into your life. If it's just not going to work, then you will have to let the giver know. After all, if they think you like their recent gift-giving choice, they will just keep making the same one!
i wonder why horoscopes are not exactly true, but can be freaky at times. thats mine for today. this past week has proved to me alot of things, proved to me things that i never realised before or bring truth to me.
today proved to be one (and maybe yest).
and i realised how cute and adorable my little sister is.
thanks so much for all those, i really appreciate it, but thanks for your effort to make me see smth, smth which you dont even know.i hope fatso's still okay now.
haha i better not hear anth like it drowning in the pail (AHEMAHEM)
i do not regret giving it to her actually, really.
i shall stop saying -suspicious- things bout her agn here, lest everyone starts having weird ideas, which honestly, i still cant accept.
-Pink&Black
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6:27 AM
The Voice Within Lyrics:
Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it's alright
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means
Chorus:
When there's no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within
Young girl don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl just hold tight
Soon you're gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you look outside look inside to your soul
Chorus
Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know
(be strong)
You'll break it
(hold on)
You'll make it
Just don't forsake it because
No one can tell you what you can't do
No one can stop you, you know that I'm talking to you
Chorus
Young girl don't cry I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
;to all my beloved friends, i shall never forget. i love you guys, really. work hard okay, you guys will always be missed <3
-Pink&Black
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5:40 AM
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
i've been bad mooding/mood swinging for the longest time ever.
sorry those who got affected, i love you guys, really <3
haha today was kinda okay.
can only rmb taridra and nonsense.
taridra was awesomeeee ((: haha love it!
i felt like a clumsy elephant though :/ haha i just cant get the leg movements right and i suck in the rolling thing :0
i actually got like really shocked twice.
first like when i was at the library and being my usual self (AHEM) and suddenly i was laughing and laughing and when i turned i saw mona directly in my direction. haha the stupid thing was i was so shocked i gasp out aloud and tumbled down. stupid i tell you! :/
then the other time, me, ain and raihan were otw to the g.o. (to get khalie's skirt) then we were happily talking and laughing and it was 'quiet' and stuff. then when we walked past the hall area, once again i was so shocked and gasped out loud (even stopped for a second) cause like all the secfours were there. (hahah! this has NOTHING to do with mona okayy) it was just so shocking!
ok nvm i think im merepek-ing. tmr tmr ((:
-Pink&Black
APPLES!
8:46 AM
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
i know i lack of updates nowadays
but thank god, i get promoted and mummy need not see any teacher this time round (:
today was okay
slacked the first part of the day away, baddd. (okay, not really la)
emath was good though, box and whiskers are niceee (=easy! ;D)
AND I SHOULD'VE COME DOWN FOR LUNCH WITH AQILAH DAMNIT
okay im not obsessed ppl, but really, time's running out (if you get what i mean) and taking mly o's tgt is NOT counted here okay (cause liy says it has been distracting her for the past few yrs :// )
anws! had el mass lesson(?) after that. supp to be "intensives" but its really the opposite. hist mass lecture next was not bad, this time i really feel truly interested in the lesson ((: (i should love hist more like this during normal lessons man, damnit)
after sch, i was half happy, half mad/sad.
okay because those ppl ditched us (me and aqilah) and didnt go to the hospital with us when they were actually the enthu ones :/
then while i was walking myself to the foyer and frowning and mumbling and stuff (my usual bad mooding), then i passed by mona (:
haha we were both alone, bad mooding and she's funnyyyy ((: i swear our smiles must've been so fake. (oh, she's pissed too cause her friends ditched her too, they planned to go study tgt! hahah!)
then next i saw Mad Hatter (loll) and i passed her the letter and lollipop and i became happy once agn after that. (((:
THEN while crossing the road with aqilah, THEN RIGHT i broke my specs! (sorry aqilah for the constant whining! you dont understand!) haha cause you see my specs are like damn impt to me now. i always fish out my specs when i cant see ppl far away or during lessons. then now that i broke one side, i feel so crippled and im gonna be half-blind till...dunno when. IM DAMN DEPRESSED. haha diana said i should start a new trend. (:
visited cikgu after that! i was niceeeeeee, her baby's damn cuteeeeee! ;DD
hahah. it was a nice trip anyways
tanglin macs after that was equally nice too (:
im glad i have friends or else i can go crazyyy :/
okay im quite pissed now so i think i shall go before i explode. bye ):
-Pink&Black
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6:16 AM
Monday, October 22, 2007
i dunno why i just dont seem to update much nowadays, esp when all the fun and good stuff are happening. i want to abandon this blog but i cant and dont want to, it holds too many precious memories, my faithful dear friend 24/7. the one who has to bear all my rubbish, rantings, emo-ing and such. i shall blog agn properly once i get into the mood ((:
-Pink&Black
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6:47 AM
Friday, October 19, 2007
JOY.
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6:50 AM
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
my mood today is so, i dunno how to describe it man.
i cant seem to express everything properly now.
i cant seem to know anything, know whats going on
im going insane
too much going on today, really.
i need a break, worse than exam period itself.
i've been mood-swinging like hell since yest.
this sucks, really. i wanna run away, far far far away
now 8 seems a bit too big a number. i dont want.
this sucks worse.
-Pink&Black
APPLES!
6:31 AM
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
its bad
im tired, and when i say this, i really mean it.
im just so annoyed at you, i cant even believe it that im annoyed/pissed at you.
okay la, aku tau kau sedih kan, tapi takkan macam gini sial. aku tau la, kau bagusss(sangat, aku tak boleh deny) tapi kau tak berhak buat aku macam gini tau.
aku dahlah happy pasal message2 kau tadi, mase dalam kelas tu.
habis skarang kau buat aku macam gini. marah2 pon, janganlah nak macam gini kat orang lain (kau ingat kau cool sangat eh? okay, memang la TAPI!)
aku betol2 geram tau dengan perangai kau ni, pertame kali pulak tu!
aku betol2 dah fed up
aku tau aku weak, cakap jer tak nak berbual dengan kau, habis tu dao kau kat dalam sekolah selagi kau macam gini, tapi aku gerenti tak boleh punye. TAPI TAK PER, AKU AKAN CUBA.
kau dah buat aku betol2 sedih tau :'(
tapi tak per, besok aku boleh nangis skali dengan results.
HABIS TU, kau dah janji dengan aku tau, bukan satu tapi dua!
tapi kan, aku tak sangka kau tipu aku ;'(
ok la, tak tipu, tapi aku sengaje tak nak cakap ngan kau pasal hal tu. pasal aku betol2 marah/sedih dengan perangai kau tu.
aku nak nangis, tapi tak boleh. AKU KUAT.
(eh aku sound lame sehhhh)
aku aku MACAM NAK nangis skarang ni, cume tear-ing jer. )):
now i suddenly lost the mood to blog, after all those venting :/
sorry for those who dont understand malay, i just think its better to vent in malay (really, liy proved so!)
okay, im sorry for the lack of updates, esp on the interesting stuff
and i counted my overall csp marks for the year. and wth, i actually got 59! 59!!! one more mark to a freaking b4, im unhappy ):
-Pink&Black
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5:37 AM
Thursday, October 11, 2007
im very tired now and lazy to do recounts. just visit aqilah's blog! (its linked at the side ;) )
Im so tickled now LOL
haha see, this thing bout you.
you can make me annoyed at one time
but totally make me smile like crazy the next. THE BEST (:
-Pink&Black
APPLES!
8:14 AM
im very tired now and lazy to do recounts. just visit aqilah's blog! (its linked at the side ;) )
-Pink&Black
APPLES!
8:14 AM
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
I.HAVE.NO.FREAKING.IDEA.WHY.YOU'RE.SO.ANNOYING.TODAY >;(
thats the thing about me.
too afraid to get close, cause im too afraid of getting hurt.
like this. (ahhhh man this sucks )): )
okay, i shall withdraw myself from my social circle (haha nah, kidding.)
and...it might not be who you think it is (haha cause i always refer to alot of diff ppl, all these anonymous-ys)
lets just say, today's full of housework and bad mooding and stoning.
i dont know what i feel. not bored, not tired, not happy, not sad. just...stoned. ):
oh did i say, the other time this woman came to our house to deliver TWENTY THREE trays of eggs.
and my mum has 25 cakes to make, i say, good luck to her man. ;)
oh and silly mona went to sch, thinking of visiting jess, only to find out from ME there's no sch today LOL LOL
speaking of which (since today and tmr's marking day), im not hoping for good results. really. just enough to put me in the okay, not THAT bad position, and enough to get me through. ): (pray hardddd)
Lets just hope for the best, if possible, i dont want to shed a tear over the loss of a beloved classmate.
-Pink&Black <3
APPLES!
6:37 AM
Monday, October 08, 2007
i went looking at more cupcakes today.
and then there was this one, with yellow canoes, like the person make from sugar art. damn nice
and of course the first person that came to my mind : RACHELL LEE JIA
damn sad, nvm next time she comes to singapore (should be this dec hols i think), i shall get for her <3
screwed phys up today, no need any elaboration on that. and to think i thought it could pull my marks up :/
esplanade-d with siti and aqilah. it was short and sweet, plus a lot of talking, laughing, rubbishing and mengumpat-ing. (:
and after TWO MONTHS (yes, THANKS to rename-rs for stopping me from getting cause of my super bad sore throat:/) I FINALLY GOT MRS FIELD'S BROWNIE (:
i've been craving for them since dunno when ):
okay things to look forward to:
1.) hari raya! (:
2.) hari raya-ing with s3 ppl and also with klas k!!
3.) dikir during this fri's concert ((:
4.) dikir practice this wedd
5.) buka-ing with klas k this wed ;D
6.) buying mayvin's hamster!! (BABY hamster!!! ooh just born, still growing ((: )
7.) BUYING CUPCAKES** (haha so special must have ** one!)
8.) Donut Day with rename next week! ;D
9.) SHOPPINGGGGGGG!!
10.) CIKGU'S BABY!! (haha hope she gives birth after our o's ): )
okay im happy and quite contented now. (:
i shall find other stuff to update on later ((:
-Pink&Black
APPLES!
12:35 AM
Sunday, October 07, 2007
1.) pressure = force / area
alot of pressure because of school work = alot of force/hard work / smaller brain capacity
2.) speed = dist / time
slower speed in studying = slower pace(study lesser) / not enough time
3.) velocity = displacement / time taken
slow rate of progree = learn lesser / more time needed
4.) acceleration = change in velocity / time taken
speed up in studying = faster rate of progress / faster time taken
5.) force = mass X acceleration
brain cells work faster = brain getting more dead(heavier) X slower progress
6.) gravitational field strength = weight / mass
getting sleepy = head feels heavier / body getting more tired
7.) density = mass / volume
brain too full with info = brain getting heavier(tired) / less capacity for further info
8.) moment = force X distance
brain not working anymore = more energy needed to think X longer time(YAWNS)
9.) kinetic energy = 1/2 X mass X velocity(square)
no more energy = 1/2 of work done X brain dead X slower rate of studying
10.) work = force X distance
less work done = more energy needed to think X longer time!
okay, part of physics, which i can apply to myself now. WOW ;0
though most of the points are like, the same. (see how physics love to confuse you?)
(see how much physics can become part of your life?? ;/ )
okay i think im gonna go sleep soon. and to think my stomach's grumbling now! (HUNGRY/TIRED!!)
-Pink&Black
APPLES!
10:37 AM
hahah i know you're cute la huhh (but you dont have to make me notice lah okayy)
lolll. the past hour or so has been damn hilarious i cant stop laughing. hohoho!
im so happy over c-p-a-e-!! loll go figure!
i shall buy alotttttttttttttt lotttttttttttttttttttttttt mannnnnn ((:
(and someone so prasannnn! LOLL)
-Pink&Black
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9:29 AM
Saturday, October 06, 2007
farewell
yest was sort of the end of our papers (we only have phys on monday but everyone's happy enough though. HAHA)
but highlight of the day was farewell assembly.
it was a very touching event i must say. started with prize giving
and hahah, they are all very de smart )):
then it was um, video thing, was it?
was very very sad. and some of us kinda teared bout the asilah part ):
and then singing of sch song and stuff, it was really saddd.
afters, followed liy to take her *AHEM*pic*AHEM*. haha and she was really HIGHHHH
andand i regret not taking a photo with you. ):
cant believe you're going away. shit, this is too fast
like liy said, wish you could stay longer in crescent. just one year, one more year will do. but yes, thats crazy cause its the same as asking you to stay back ://
no more purposely seeing you at redhill in the morn, waiting for your friends
or, no more purposely walking slowly behind you (cause you walk DAMN slow)
no more taking side glances to my right in the parade square
no more staring at you, getting irritated when ppl block me
and, no more pretending to act cool and look away when you see me staring
no more getting THAT LOOK from you
no more staring at the 3rd storey and stare and stare and wait till you come out fo your class
no more seeing you standing at the corridor with your friends
no more bumping into you (and smiling to myself like crazy when you walk past)
shittttt, its making me real sad. when the truth hit me hard, that you're going.
you're no longer part of crescent. and when you go i keep wondering when will be the next time i'll see you.
i wanna talkkk to youuuuu and hugg you )):
(haha okay nvm next week next week!)
im off now, to do more stuff (:
-Pink&Black
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1:18 AM
Thursday, October 04, 2007
time's going by too fast
i had to take deep breaths to calm myself down (go figure)
okay chem and amath tmr. so not prepared. wonder what im doing here huh. im almost giving up on amath. oh-my-god. time's flying by so fast. im running out of time, i need TIME.
speaking of which, farewell assembly. ahh it sucks ):
i just dont like it when every batch of seniors leave crescent and move on.
there'll a least be a few ppl i really like in that batch (not that LIKE kind of like) and it kinda sucks to see them go, cause you know that once that someone leaves, no matter what, they'll be this empty space between you guys, not like back then. (okay i dunno what shit im blabbering)
things just wont be the same. sec4s next yr, sigh. time flies, i dont wanna be in sec4 ):
i wanna be the baby of crescent, like back then in secone.
and it sucks, also because, im just starting to get to know you better.
this.is.unfair.
two months, two months.
and now even little things like seeing you in the library matters alot. ):
-Pink&Black
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8:57 AM
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Andai aku mengguriskan hati & perasaanmu
maafkan dakusungguh aku
tidak bermaksud begitumungkin hati ini yang memaksaatau mungkin sekadar untuk mengujihanya kerana terlalu ikutkan perasaanhanya kerana keangkuhan ego yang semakin memuncakada hati yang terluka
Kau sering terluka dengan tingkah lakuku
maafkan aku sekiranya kau terseksa dengan kehadiranku didalam hidupmumaafkan aku jika aku tak pernah ingin untuk memahami atau mengerti dirimuatau
menyelami isi hatimumaafkan aku jika selama ini aku tidak dapat memenuhi hasrat hatimumaafkan aku andai aku tak dapat membahagiakanmu seperti mana yang kau sering impikan & harapkankerana aku hanya menyakiti hatimu selama iniAku terlalu menyayangimu
baru kini ku sedar bahawa aku memang benar-benar megasihimu
sungguh,aku amat menyintaimuMaafkan aku jika permainan percintaan ini terlalu perit untuk kau tempuhipercayalah,aku hanya ingin mengujitidak pernah termimpi untuk mempersendakan atau menduakan hati & perasaanmuSilap aku jua
yang hanya memikirkan tentang diri & perasaanku sendiri
tanpa menghiraukan pahit getir yang sedang kau laluiKeangkuhan meguasai dirimudah saja aku berpaling tadah & melemparkan kata-kata sebegitu terhadapmu
maafkan akudibibirku lafazkan rela
dihati,terasa pedihnya
walau bibir
melafaz marah
namun dihati
MERINDU SAYANG
aku hanya mengundang kekecewaan diantara kitaMAAFKAN AKU SAYANG
APPLES!
8:40 AM
im glad that i studied lit. honestly, it feels more productive than the other subjs ):
hahah and stupid j has got me addicted to SOME of The Beatles songs. not that they are nice, but once you hear them, the song will like, be stuck in your head :// haha. go listen! (love me do & eight days a week!!)
i feel emotionally drained, excited for some stuff, scared for some, worried bout many things. (like me not even panicking!! :/ )
okay im off, my body's tired but my mind's so damn awake.
-Pink&Black
APPLES!
7:55 AM
Monday, October 01, 2007
bad.day
i swear i've killed at least 30 ants in less than an hour ;0
the ants are invading my room, stupid. ):
thanks so much for what you've just done. you just made me lost my mood to study, to do anth even, but i dont blame you.
sigh, im feeling so down now. im tired of crying over the same thing.
because of this, im DEPRIVED OF MY SLEEP LAST NIGHT.
because of this, im IN NO MOOD TO STUDY NOW (OR DO ANTH)
THANKS SO MUCHHHHH, ILY
-Pink&Black
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6:15 AM
Church;